Original Glossary

All neologisms originated by Matthew Dwight Moore, PhD (2020) unless otherwise noted. Feel free to use them, but give me credit if you can. There are 143 entries to date.

APPLETIZER: A healthy preliminary snack consisting primarily of fruits and/or vegetables.  (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.)

FMB(Appletizer)1

ARBORTECTURE: Aesthetic gardening or sculpting accomplished with trees and bushes. Alternately sculpted with woody material, as with a wreath or basket.

ARBORTION: Weeding, especially pulling little tree saplings from a garden.

ASSESSINATION: Killing the enthusiasm for learning, achieved by excessive or high-stakes standardized testing.

BANANAZA: An over-abundance of bananas (or similar fruits).

BIRADE: An argument in which both parties are about equal in their level of intensity or vehemence, often expressed simultaneously.

BANDAISSE: A delicious condiment or spread that can be used both as a topical antibiotic cream for wounds and on snacks. (A product in development with McJohnson and McJohnson).

FMB(Bandaisse)

BROMENT: When two guys friends have a special moment together. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *

BROQUET: (Rhymes with “bouquet”) A gift of endearment given from one guy to another.

BUNKBIKE: A double decker bike. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *

BUTTBACK: The area on one’s backside between the lower back and the buttocks.

CAFFSTINENCE: Abstaining from caffeine, a teetotaller regarding coffee.

CARMONY: That rare occasion when an entire family travelling in the same car happens to be getting along very well with everyone else in the car.

CATTIBAL: A cat that eats other cats. (obscure)

CATASTROPHOBIA: Paralyzing fear of doing anything for fear of bringing about negative results.

CATHOLETE: One who takes their Catholic faith very seriously.

CHRONOCHAOS: (CHRO-no-CHA-os) A facet of popular culture typified by a hodge-podge of cultural artifacts from different eras, resulting in a high degree of anachronism.

CHRONONAUT: A time traveler; technically all creatures are traveling through time.

COOLEAGUE: That coworker who exudes cool.

COOPED DOWN: Feeling stuck in one’s home, similar to “cabin fever” but veering towards depression.

COPSULATION: When two police cars are parked together facing in opposite directions, their drivers apparently “just talking.”

FMB(Copsulation)1

CRAPTOP: A laptop computer whose infuriating technical problems render it nearly a pile of unusable garbage to the user.

CRUCI-FICTION: All the non-verifiable truth-claims associated with Jesus’s birth, life, and death.

DEBATICLE: A debate that is really a travesty.

DENSICLES: Little dense pockets of matter, items, or particles, like a mid-sized city’s population or dust bunnies under the bed.

DISEMVOWELED: When someone inadvertently misspells a common word, usually with no sense of solecism.

DRAMANTIC: A cross between romantic and dramatic. (Attributed to Jessie Miller)

DROKE: A drunken joke.

DREAMORY: The confusion over whether something was a really a dream or a legitimate memory. (Attributed to Malcolm Moore.) *

ENDSHIP: The period or point in a friendship when things are really over. (Attributed to Sara Moore.) *

ENDURO: A unit of measurement that represents acceleration over time. Distance is measured in meters (m), velocity is measured in distance per seconds (m/s), and acceleration is measured in velocity per time (m/s/s). Enduros measure acceleration per time (m/s/s/s). How this may be used in theoretical or practical physics is yet unknown. 

EPHEMORUS: The Greek god of… wait… I almost have it…

EPONYMISM: (e-PON-y-MIS-m) The long term linguistic/ cultural trend towards converting people associated with things into the words themselves. This usually occurs by turning proper nouns (for example, names) into lower case versions over time (e.g., watts, volts, hertz, mesmerize, sadistic, diesel, draconian, quixotic, shrapnel, stetson, hooker).

EUROCRITERIA: Using Western values and assumptions as a basis for apprehending other systems found throughout the world. For example, “human rights,” “genocide,” “development,” or “progress,” as defined by the Western Enlightenment.

EXHAUSTIMULATED: The mixture of simultaneously feeling very tired and very excited/ animated.

EXTRAFOLIATE: Exfoliating very very harshly.

FABULOUS: The name of a particularly flamboyant Roman emperor. Little is known of Emperor Fabulous except he had a terrific sense of style. (Attributed to Eddie Izzard.) *

FAKES NEWS: Otherwise known as Fox News. Far from “fair and balanced,” this cable entertainment channel news serves as the official echo chamber of the Trump insurgency. It’s ironic (and downright Orwellian) really how a bunch of adults can call what they do “news” when it’s the opposite of news reporting, especially when they criticize real news reporting as “fake news.”

Fakes News

FAMBUSH: The feeling that your family is ganging up on you. Sometimes experienced during the holidays with extended family who have aggressively different political or religious views than you.

FATALLERGY: A potentially fatal food allergy. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *

FEETSES: One’s foot or feet after (accidently or not) stepping in (human or animal) dung.

FINTER: The period when fall is turning into winter. See also “Sprummer” and “Sautumn.” There is no period between winter and spring.

FLEXERCIZE: An exercising regimen that vacillates between discipline and utter laziness.

FLIRTILLA: A bunch of people who affectionately follow another, as teenage girls around a hot guy, or FoxNews around Trump.

FOOTSBALL: A game of football (a.k.a., American soccer) that is played on a groomed but wild terrain. Like a golf course or cross country course, each footsball field has a standard size, dimensions, and goals, etc., but also wild obstacles such as trees, stumps, rocks, and even streams exist within those parameters of a footsball field, making each field unique. (Jointly attributed to Malcolm Moore and Matthew Dwight Moore.) *

FRIDGENOTISM: The experience of becoming transfixed when looking at the open refrigerator, seemingly for hours.

FREEL: That rogue wheel on a shopping cart that refuses to go along with the rest of the wheels, often spinning about aimlessly while the others move dutifully forward. Also known as FREELIE.

FROWNIES: Homemade brownies that have not quite worked out.

FUNTON: A futon one can have fun on.

FUNDRAGING: When someone channels their emotions into political donations. (Origin unknown)  https://www.npr.org/2020/10/22/925892007/fundraging-fuels-democratic-money-advantage-over-gop-in-most-races

GENOCIZE: Responding to the reality of genocide by ignoring or denying it.

GHETTOWAY: A staycation that takes place entirely in your own neighborhood.

GRACERIES: The items a cashier accidentally neglects to ring up. Do you let them know? Do you go back to the store to make sure they get paid for?

GRAMMY CRACKS: Slang for “graham crackers.”

GREEZZA: (Rhymes with “pizza”) Really greasy pizza.

GWOINK: The sound a flock of geese makes while flying overhead.

HANNAKAWEEN: The very long holiday that lasts from Halloween to Hannukah. (Archaic: the eight nights of trick-or-treating for Jewish children that starts on Halloween.)

HISTORIOCOSMOS: The reality that history is everywhere and everything.

HOBO SAPIENS: Early humans, who, as nomads or semi-nomads, wandered from continent to continent, populating much of the world over a period of thousands of years, essentially looking for meaningful work and a good meal.

INSTELLIGENCE: Instinctual intelligence.

JOYSORROW: The simultaneous feeling of joy and sorrow.

IMPROVIEW: The review of a book, movie, or song that doesn’t exist. 

INTERDEPENDENCE DAY: (July 5): a celebration of how interconnected and dependent Americans are with the rest of the world. Sometimes celebrated by playing games such as soccer, golf, or tennis that originated outside of America, consuming items that originated outside of America such as coffee, tea, mango, watermelon, wheat, carrots, apple, yams, grapes, chicken, ham, oranges, or checking clothing tags to see where one’s clothes were made.

LEPRECLONE: Those green kitschy paper decorations that become ubiquitous in the days around St. Patrick’s Day. Can be used to refer to any generic decoration for any given mass holiday.

LINNER: The meal that falls in between lunch and dinner. Sometimes called “first dinner.”

LOUTER: A very loud ear-piercing router.

LUMNATWIST: A lamp that must be clicked two or more times to be turned on.

LYMALORIAN: An original ethnicity that originates with my family, named for siblings Lydia and Malcolm. True fact: this ethnicity is registered in the 2020 US Census.

MAGASTRIP: The little piece of paper on a magazine received in the mail that has the subscriber’s name on it. Alternatively, it is also the term for the card stuck in the middle of a magazine (either fixed or loose).

MASSTADON: A crazy mass-purchasing fad that is now extinct, like Cabbage Patch Kids in the 80s or Tickle Me Elmo in the 90s. They may be extinct, but we will still uncover their artifacts in second hand stores everywhere for years to come.

MAUDACIOUS: Courageously silly and tearful.

MEGAPAUSE: According to several mansplaining sources, the most extreme phase of menopause, sometimes characterized by intense outbursts of temporary insanity.

MELLOCUTION: A mellow tone of voice and general way of speaking that is used to soothe people.

MEXTERITY: The kind of cultural agility Chicanos or Chicanas sometimes demonstrate in bicultural situations.

MICROANGELO: A giant artistic masterpiece that’s reduced to a tiny copy, usually found in museum gift shops (e.g., Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel ceiling fresco on a coffee mug, Da Vinci’s The Last Supper on a  pickle platter, or Monet’s Water Lilies on toilet paper.)

FMB(Microangelo)

MILKSTACHE: The residue left on the upper lip and/or philtrum after drinking a glass of milk. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *

MIRACULICIOUS: So delicious as to perform miracles. (Attributed to Joshua Miller.) *

MOBILE-PHOBIC: The state of being afraid of cell phones.

MORPHOOD: The last bit of a large eaten meal that makes one start to feel sleepy.

MUSIE: A passionate lover of music, the equivalent of “foodie.”

MURDERCYCLE: Another word for a motorcycle. Due to the outrageously high fatality rate of motorcycle accidents, motorcycles are objectively dangerous. Start calling them “murdercycles” and see if that changes any minds.

NASTRONAUT: A person who acts in a perpetually nasty manner. One who journeys very far through life with a sour disposition.

NEIGHNGER: (Rhymes with “stranger”) A neighbor-stranger hybrid, a neighbor who you barely know. Many people usually have many neighngers living around them.

NEXTING: Texting while on a date, especially while physically close to one’s date. (The texting could occur with the other person on the date or, sometimes more controversially,  a completely different person who is not present.)

NEXTPERT: Almost an expert. (Attributed to Lydia Moore) *

NONTROVERSY: A controversy whipped up in the media or by gossip that ultimately has little basis or importance.

OMNOLOGIST: One who studies everything. 

ONE-DOWNER: One who tries to argue that they are more misfortunate than anyone they encounter. The opposite of a one-upper.  

ONOMASTICATION: Name-eating, sometimes practiced in academic settings, where a person refers to famous scholars or thinkers in a reductive word soup. “The Marxists’ Foucauldian attempts were Pyrrhic.”

ORIGANDHI: Decorative folded paper in the shape of the Mahatma or any other famous leader. (obscure)

PALIMSESTUOUS: The very close-knit connections between texts.

PANDEMIA: The world as it is during a global pandemic. 

PATMOSSERS: Christians who could only be happy in paradise if they knew their enemies were suffering in hell. (Attributed to D. H. Lawrence in his book “Apocalypse,” referring to John of Patmos, who wrote the biblical book of Revelation.) *

PEDIOSIS: A condition instigated when a shoe store never seems to have one’s size in stock.

PENTHOSOPHY: (penth-OS-o-PHY) Grief-wisdom (from Greek penthos, meaning grief, and sophos, meaning wisdom), the way pain or sorrow can open up one to greater truths.

PESTAURANT: An eating establishment with particularly disgruntled servers.

PLASTAINER: The piece of plastic that holds the cans together in a six-pack. Alternately, any plastic wrap or container.

PLAZY: Lazy play, like that of a mature cat who can barely summon the energy to play with a cat toy while laying squarely on the floor.

POPERY: What gift do you give that pope that has everything? A home? Nope, he has that. A job for life? Already got one. Riches? Nope, he has that too. How about popery, a collection of cheap, decayed, organic blossoms? Popery: the scent of saintly celibacy.

POSTCURSOR: An event or period that follows and is strongly influenced by another event or period.

POINTING IVY: Poison ivy, when identified by a person who points and shouts in alarm, “Look out! That’s poison ivy!”

POLYAESTHEPHILE: (POL-y-AES-the-PHILE) One who is a lover of many simultaneous aesthetic forms (film, literature, music, dance, etc)

POORFESSOR: A highly underpaid professor, usually an adjunct teaching many classes and getting paid so little that they may even be under the poverty line. Also known as a “poverty professor.”

PRAGTASTIC: Something that is wonderful in its mundane use (often used sarcastically). “Twist ties are soooo pragtastic!”

PREMIND: When something reminds you of something you are going to do in the future. “That’s preminds me that I have to go to the store.” Can also use PREMEMBER.

PROTESTIGNORANCE: The sort of blind dismissal of other religions or even other versions of Christianity (e.g., Catholicism) conducted and perpetuated by ignorant Protestants.

PSYCHIROPRACTOR: A psychotherapist who simultaneously treats a patient’s mental/ emotional issues while readjusting their muscular/ skeletal alignment.

PSYCH-OLONIZATION: The occupation of someone else’s mental process, whether brainwashing or earworms or obsessive thoughts.

PSYCHOPEDIA: The canon of murderers or criminal psychopaths well-known in a cultural lexicon. For example, Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy.

RAPTIST: A Baptist or some such Christian who can easily rattle off Bible verses.

RESPAIR: One’s return to health and normalcy after a period of despair. (moribund)

RETROCRACY: A regime that holds power/knowledge over the past, historians serve as intermediary agents that produce an interpretation of a subjected body (the past) that cannot speak for itself, let alone in multilateral dialog with the present, a privileging of the present over the past.

ROCKET CHAIR: A rocking chair that is endowed with an extra wide arc or is being rocked with tremendous power.

ROBUTT: One’s backside, having been toned by the repetitive motions of a rowing machine or similar exercise mechanism.

SAR-CHASM: The social gap created by one too many sarcastic remarks, such as when a snarky person finally crosses the line, thereby alienating everyone in the room.

SAUTUMN: The period when summer is turning into autumn. See also “Sprummer” and “Finter.” There is no period between winter and spring.

SCARIOUS: A creepy feeling when one’s curiosity draws one into a scary situation. (Attributed to Jeff Fitts.) *

SCATWALKING: The funny action a cat makes when standing on its hind feet, rapidly trying to “walk” its front paws against a door or window (or windoor– see “windoor”).

SCOTOMAPHILIA: Literally, the love of blind spots. Used in cognitive psychology and cinema studies. People’s minds exclude data in order to enjoy or appreciate the experience. For example, watching a film requires that the brain ignore the blank frames in between individual frames. Also, ignoring the pollution and human rights issues that occur in a global production chain help Western consumers feel better about their consumption.

SHARKING LOT: A parking lot where cars predatorily troll around looking for ideal parking spots.

SHOOBIE: A new and inexperienced beach tourist, so identified because they wear shoes in the sand at the beach. (Attributed to Joshua Miller.)

SLUNCHING: Slouching while eating lunch, usually when a person has only a 30 minute lunch break. (Jointly attributed to Malcolm Moore and Matthew Dwight Moore.) *

SNACKERY: The snacking equivalent of “hungry.” The British term is “peckish.”

SNARKOLEPTIC: A person who wakes from their apathy solely in order to level some snarky jibe (for example, bored and sarcastic students).

SNIGLET: Any word that isn’t in the dictionary but should be. (Attributed to Rich Hall.) *

SPECLATIVES: Bad words (or expletives) that are contemplated but not ultimately uttered aloud.

SPRUMMER: The period when spring is turning into summer. See also “Sautumn” and “Finter.” There is no corresponding period between winter and spring.

STOPPORTUNITY: A chance to stop some behavior that happens only at certain junctures, as in stopping an argument from escalating or indulging in drinking or eating too much.

STRESSTING: Resting while stressed. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *

STYLICIOUS: Something that is delightfully or deliciously stylish.

SUBURBAVERSE: The bland cultural world of the suburbs.

TOXOMASTICS: Place-names tainted by notorious tragedy or abuse (e.g., Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Auschwitz, Chernobyl, Columbine, Sandy Hook, Waco, Ruby Ridge, Valdez, Nuremberg, Sharpeville, Jonestown, Bosnia, Attica, Love Canal, Wounded Knee, Johnstown, Charlottesville, Alcatraz, Nanjin, Andersonville, Kent State University).

A sub-category of taxomastics includes place-names of notable battle carnage or massacres (e.g., Waterloo, Carthage, Stalingrad, Gettysburg, Normandy, Verdun, Magdeburg, Gallipoli, Ypres, Dien Bien Phu, Alamo, Culloden). Dark tourism, or thanotourism, is a market based on their commodification by the tourism industry.

TRIFFICULT: Something that’s both particularly tricky and particularly difficult.

TRUMPENPROLETARIAT: The working class that supported Donald Trump against their own interests.

TWINJAS: Twin ninjas. (obscure)

UNDERCAST: When the sky is mainly sunny and clear. Technically, a sky is considered overcast if at least 95% of it is covered by clouds. An undercast sky is one in which 95% of it is without clouds.

VENDEREXIA: The common disorder which occurs when a shopper exits a store and has no recollection of where they parked their car.

VIDEOSIS: The urge to enter an appliance store and watch all the TVs turned to the same channel.

VILLIGENCE: Inspired by the word “vigilance,” this denotes being very watchful over your own village or neighborhood.

UNI-BRA: Otherwise known as a face mask.

EVERMARKET Anti-dust Black Mouth Mask, Unisex Cotton Face Mask ...

WINDOOR: A full-sized storm door made of glass. (Attributed to Lydia Moore.) *

WIPEND: The little piece of toilet paper that sticks to the end of the roll.

WOMANCE: The female equivalent of a bromance.

ZOMBRES: Mexican zombies. (obscure)

(C) Matthew Dwight Moore, PhD